Deidarachan!
by Selath
Summary: Due to a universal paradox. Deidara finds himself from an alternate dimension. one difference though... He's a girl! Deidara loses his peice...-er- ... of mind but gains a sister... All around its very awkward for everyone... Especially Deidara-Chan...
1. Chapter one: Dangerous clouds!

Deidara-chan

Deidara-chan

Authors note: I do not own Naruto… I have never owned Naruto… I have never come into contact with the person who does own Naruto… There is no law of matter that states: If you come in contact with Masashi Kishimoto the rights to his manga will automaticly pass to you through the process of diffusion… This will probably be one of the only times I'll mention this so don't haggle me! Or bad things may or may not happen in a sequence of uncontected events to everything you may or may not love…

Chapter one: Dangerous clouds on the horizon!

"Sasori-no-Danna wait up, un!" Deidara jogged after Sasori, swinging his plastic bag, as the later had started to walk away already.

"I'm not going to be late because of you…" Sasori's eyes looked up at Deidara from the face of his hunched over puppet.

"Tch… I was just buying some CD's…" Deidara eyebrow twitched from the irritation of Sasori's nasty look "Take some time and enjoy the festival Sasori-no-Danna, h'm!"

"The Festival is our cover… We'll be meeting the operative here…" Sasori icily stared ahead.

"Yeah but shouldn't we stop by stores every now and then to not draw attention to ourselves?" Deidara eyed a passing couple as the freaked out over Sasori's puppet form.

Sasori froze for a moment. Deidara stopped beside Sasori…

"You know we aren't meeting them for two whole days I mean how can we be late… and

I saw a nice Inn and Hot Spring on the outskirts of this town… we could stay there for a little while…"

"It's not that…" Sasori was starting to be swayed "… we could really be late it's just that…" he looked up a Deidara slightly nervously.

Deidara blushed slightly and looked a lot more nervous and awkward as he stood up straight.

"No…" Sasori shook his head chuckling…

Deidara sighed with relief he'd been in to many fanfictions like that.

"Kakuzu made me promise not to let you spend the entirety of Akatsuki's funds…"

Deidara sat down cross-legged in the street looking up at the blue sky with a growing population of cumulonimbus clouds imagining a hot spring he'd never get to enjoy...

"But we might need a place for you to rest and me to change puppets…" Sasori finally gave in.

"Yes!" Deidara cheered as he jumped up from his seat, causing more people to stare at him than Sasori.

'That guys weird' 'What's wrong with that woman Mommy?' were just a few pinpricks of conversation Deidara picked up as he pushed Sasori away from the crowd that was staring at him.

At The Inn Just Outside Of Town

"Hey cutie!" The young greeter behind the desk laughed trying out what he thought was a dazzling smile… it wasn't… "Can I get you and your Dad a room?" He leaned forward closer to a twitching angry Deidara he whispered " Or would you like a room separate so I can have an extra key?"

Deidara's response would have been quick and brutal to the point that it would leave the insolent greeter in no doubt as to Deidara's gender… But Sasori intervened…

"Two rooms would be nice thank you young man…" Sasori chuckled.

Deidara shook with pure fury; through gritted teeth he spoke flames leaping around him as the greeter went to fetch their keys "' Dad' I Think It's Time We Had A Chat!"

Deidara and Sasori snuck back a few feet from the counter.

"What the hell are you doing, h'm?" Deidara stood facing Sasori with the greeter behind the desk making googly eyes at Deidara.

Sasori with his back to the greeter seemed to smile, and even though Sasori couldn't 'see' the greeter Deidara knew he knew that the greeter was now blowing kisses "This place is expensive and I don't want to be on Kakuzu's bad side…"

"He has a good side, un?" Deidara closed his eyes blocking out the greeter and his playful clawing.

Sasori nodded "Deidara I need you to get that lug to drop the prices for our rooms, or we will be forced to share a room and this fanfiction will go down a completely different route!"

" Fine… but it already feels like it's going down that route… for me at least…" Deidara's tears streamed as he spoke.

It started to look very stormy outside as Deidara swallowed his pride painfully and approached with his 'Dad'.

"How much will these rooms cost for two nights?" Sasori asked forcefully.

"Err…" The greeter watched as Deidara looked down slightly blushing as he tried to think of something that would entice the greeter " 100 a night… for… uh…b-both rooms…"

"Hmmm… It might be better if my daughter and me share a room than… it would be 50 a night than… much cheaper…"

"GUH! Did I say 100 a night I meant 25 all together for staying here with both rooms… But that's just a discount for being the 20th costumer and you'd have to have separate rooms for the offer!" The greeters offer change dramatically when Deidara smiled shyly up at him while still blushing mumbling something cutely.

Sasori nodded "Deal! Now give us our keys..."

**After an awkward handing out of keys…**

Deidara and Sasori walked down the hall to their respective rooms, Deidara looked very sick…

"I can't believe I did that…" He looked ready to puke.

"Yes but now if you see that greeter again you have to pretend to be a girl… or we'll get kicked out for fraud…"

"It would be his own fault he let us pay so little, Yeah…" Deidara mumbled.

Sasori and Deidara reached Sasori's room first.

"You know what will make you feel better?" Sasori's large Puppet character's back opened and out popped Sasori's more incognito red headed self "let's take a hot bath in the spring!"

"Yes!" Deidara cheered happily.

Deidara rushed all the way to his room, with a cloud of dust filling the hallway behind him. Once in the room he quickly grabbed a towel and rushed back to Sasori who was checking the seals on all his poisonous traps to make sure the poison wouldn't get into the water.

"I'm ready, un!" Deidara cheered "let me get at the hot spring, h'm!"

As Deidara and Sasori where walking to the hot spring Deidara was so happy he almost skipped… But that would make him look like a girl… and so he didn't skip… But just as they had stripped down to their swimming shorts, Sasori realized something terrible!

"It's raining out there…" Sasori looked unconcerned… even as lightning hit inside the walled off hot spring lighting everything up like it was day and leaving Sasori and Deidara blinking away spots in their vision.

"Can we still go, yeah?" Deidara looked at Sasori sadly.

"Dumbass!" Sasori punched Deidara in the face "Did you not see the LIGHTNING? Do you want to sit in that? Not to mention the rain will get you sick and unable to help in our mission!"

"sniff… I'm sawwy…sniff" Deidara held his bleeding nose.

Sasori looked over at the kneeling Deidara whose teary eyes made him incredibly womanly…

"No it was my fault I shouldn't have hit you… Just stop crying…"Sasori blushed…

"snort I'm nowt cywing…snort… I tink ouw broke wy wose** sniff" **

Sasori dropkicked him in the head "Don't try to gain my pity through fake tears!" Sasori angrily stormed off…

Deidara soon learned his nose was not in fact broken as he cleaned up its bloody mess…

"Shit that hurt… Bastard Sasori, un!" Deidara ground his teeth "… This was my first time actually going into a hot spring…"

With a sigh Deidara through on his black shirt and slowly walked to his room. As he approached his room up ahead he notice the greeter turn of in the same direction as Deidara was going…

"What the?" Deidara looked queerly up at him.

The greeter was singing a tune that struck fear into Deidara's heart.

"I'm going to get lucky to night, OH SO LUCKY…" That was the gist of it; it was in fact ten times more terrible to describe due to the greeters lack of skill, at one point Deidara had liked that song and the greeter was dangling in his hand a copy key to Deidara's room!

"Screw this!" Deidara realizing what the greeter had in mind and made a dash for it back to the hot spring.

Deidara gasped for breath leaning against a change locker… Then an idea struck him…

His lips curled into a devious smile " Well if that guy's going to be hanging around my room… then I need something to do, h'm… and there is only one other thing to do here, yeah! Heheheh…"

With this he got into his swim shorts and laughed evilly. His plan backfired as he exited the changing room… It was raining even harder… it was cold… Shivering he slipped into the hot spring that had kept some of it's heat… he waded around a little bit then suddenly he sneezed…

"Oh great, un! I got a cold! What could be worse h'm?" Deidara mumbled out loud and sneezed again… just as a bolt of lightning struck the hot spring sending sparks arching across the water and into Deidara. His sneez3e came out as something like this: "aaaaa- CHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHuuuuhmmmm nurrrrrrhhhh gaggle!

Deidara fell backwards twitching and smoking slightly…

"Am I alive?" He mumbled still dazed.

He stood up in the water looking all around him then down at his hand… A spark ran across it and he got this strange feeling of double vision as his hand slid apart with another hand… Sneezing again Deidara's vision snapped back to single objects of his hand.

"Ugh… I feel weird…" Deidara's eyes closed slightly… " I got to get to my room… get some sleep and beat this cold…"

Deidara barely made it to his room and onto his bed when he collapsed… Groaning he curled into a ball on his bed. A splay of electricity droned across his back… **am I going to die?** He wondered as he lost consciousness and a sliding sensation moved over his entire person…


	2. Chapter 2: It’s a Date

Author notes: I would love some feedback!

Deidara-Chan

Chapter 2: It's a Date With Sasori-Kun!

"Urrrgh…" Deidara rubbed her eyes and sat up " My head, h'm… I'll never play with lightning ever again, un…Hey I can breath! My Colds gone, yeah!"

This is when she noticed the shirtless person laying beside her…

"Aah!" She pushed away from them and placed her back against the wall.

The person turned their head and Deidara found herself looking at the perfect likeness of… well herself… The other Deidara turned over and she saw that this Deidara had the smallest boobs ever! Hardly even there really…

"Wait a second…" A thought was beginning to form…

A quick search of the offending Deidara's swimming shorts revealed her troubled idea!

Clutching her blond hair she screamed, " I'm a dude, un!"

Running to the door she kicked it open and smashing her fists against her head she screamed, " I have a penis!"

The greeter who was bringing a tray of breakfast to try and seduce Deidara froze just outside the door… Deidara stared blushing at the man who had heard that… The man stared back... He fell backwards blood squirting out of his nose. Deidara looked down at herself… no evidence of clothes or this penis with which she had hollered about was in view…

"Eeep!" Deidara quickly shut the door and grabbed a white towel to wrap around herself, "Sasori sempai I need help, un!" She rushed off down the hall and around the corner to her sempai's room.

A furtive bashing noise caused Sasori to twitch angrily as he tried to busy himself with the maintenance of his puppets. 'Sasori help me!' Deidara bashed her head against the door, not willing to risk a slipping of the towel…

"wha-" Sasori opened the door just in time to get a face full of a head butt…

Sasori was knocked to the ground… Deidara dropped to her knees clutching her head…

"Owww…" Deidara grumbled, " I forgot how hard your head was!"

Sasori sat up threateningly "What the hell do you want?!"

Deidara's teary eyes made him cringe back slightly… She leapt into a flying hug… Sasori grabbed her head kicking the door shut.

"Tell me what the hell you want… and don't make me wait… I hate waiting…"

" I woke up with a half naked guy in my room, un!" Deidara looked sick.

"Choke you don't say… **Snort**" Sasori tried to suppress his laughter.

"It's not funny… He could have taken advantage of me, un!" Deidara's sad little expression combined with the way he held his towel covering his body made Sasori want to take advantage of him… only for a second though…

"Deal with you own problems!" Sasori's expression hardened, as new images of taking advantage of Deidara flashed through his mind…

Deidara leaned forward revealing a little more of her body… Something connected in Sasori's mind just then…

"Deidara… hold still for me…" Sasori grabbed onto Deidara's wrist and held her down, so she didn't really have a choice.

"Ngggh… what is it, un?" Deidara made a face.

Sasori quickly took a peak under Deidara's towel… He fell back clutching his nose blushing… no doubt it would have squirted blood if he weren't a puppet.

"Deidara you're a girl!" Sasori looked aghast.

"…Yeah? And you're a puppet get to the point, un!" Deidara looked confused.

"What the hell happened is my point!" Sasori looked freaked " Yesterday you were a boy!"

"That's silly I've always been a girl, yeah! You're just making fun of my flat chest again, h'm!" Deidara did not look happy, "Sempai… why are you being so mean, un? And now there is a guy who looks just like me in my bed…"

"Stay here…" Sasori picked up Deidara and threw her on the bed then rushed out of the room…

**Meanwhile in the Deidara's room**

"Uuugh… my head hurts, un!" Deidara sat up clutching his head "I'll never play with lightning as long as I live, yeah! Aaaachoooo" Deidara sneezed "Oh I still have a cold…"

Just then the greeter opened the door. Deidara stared horrified at the greeter. The greeter looked confused at Deidara's lack of breasts…

"Where are your-" The greeters question was interrupted by Sasori's flying head butt/ tackle…

"Deidara we seem to have a problem…" He stood glaring lifelessly at Deidara; this all gave Deidara quite a scare…

Meanwhile in Sasori's room!

Deidara (the girl) had grown bored and decided to see what Sasori had been working on recently… She traced her hand along the puppets he'd been tinkering with… until she reached a female puppet that reminded her vaguely of herself. She shivered here realizing her need for clothes she took the puppets clothes as her own… The clothes, low black shorts and high black shirt, fit her perfectly… She had changed just in time when, the guy who looked exactly like her, was pushed in by Sasori…

"I don't bel…" Deidara (the boy) was just saying when he saw the female version of himself "Oh…"

"It's the pervert who snuck into my bed, un!" Deidara (the girl) reached out a hand to smack him.

Deidara (the boy) caught it perfectly inspecting his female doppelganger. Deidara (the girl) was ready for this and kicked hard in between his legs. Sasori caught her foot with his hand before the blow could fall.

"Do you believe me now?" Sasori asked him.

He let go of Deidara (the girl)'s wrist. Leaning back he sneezed into his elbow.

"Bless you…" Deidara (the girl) mumbled.

"Thanks **sniff**" Deidara (the boy) chuckled… " I know what this is…"

"Really what is it Deidara?" Sasori sighed with relief.

"Obviously this girl became infatuated with me when she saw me on the streets, yeah!" Deidara laughed wearily like it happens all the time " And so she decided, being a crazy stocker girl… to change her appearance to what I look like and sleep in the same bed as me to win my affection, yeah!" He pointed smiling at the girl version of himself " But it didn't work girly, un! You have to go home now!"

"Wrong, un!" Deidara (the girl) smashed her fist into Deidara's face " My name Is Deidara and my sempai will prove it, h'm!" She pointed at Sasori smiling at him "Right sempai?"

Sasori smiles sadly "To you it appears you know me… but I've always known Deidara as a boy…"

"But sempai…" Deidara (the girl) looked sad… she whispered, "I'm your Deidara-Chan… I thought you… you… cared about me…" Deidara-Chan's eyes started to go teary.

Deidara-Chan shot past the staggering Deidara and the stunned Sasori.

"Crap…" Sasori sighed rubbing his hair…

"Uuugh…" Deidara said fainting; Sasori made it a point to not catch him…

Sasori dragged Deidara into his bed noticing Deidara's high fever. He opened the window to the crisp cool morning breeze.

"Stay in bed…" Sasori told Deidara who was probably to zoned out to hear.

With this Sasori went chasing after the runaway Deidara-Chan. He soon caught up to her as she had only gotten to the Hot Spring change room and hadn't gone in yet. Sasori grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me, un" Deidara-Chan mumbled.

"No," Sasori replied pulling her closer to him so she was facing him. " Deidara-Chan I don't know what's going on but… I do care for you…" he looked up blushing a little bit " So don't run away and maybe we'll get along better… I hate people who run away…"

"Why are you blushing, h'm?" Deidara-Chan asked truly confused.

"I'M NOT BLUSHING DAMN IT!" Sasori yelled at her.

"Yes you are, yeah! Right there, un!" Deidara-Chan pointed out the blush.

Sasori sighed… "Okay lets go back to Deidara…"

"No Sempai!" Deidara-Chan grabbed onto his arm shaking her head… '"I wont go back until I forgive you for forgetting me, un!"

"What do you mean?" Sasori glared at her…

"Eer… well you have to do something for me!" She let go of Sasori's arm.

"And what would that be?" Sasori's harsh gaze lowered in intensity.

Deidara-Chan looked down cutely in a very cute girly way blushing, she mumbled something.

"I didn't catch that…" Sasori leaned down closer.

"..." She said…

"Say that again I didn't here it quite clearly…" Sasori was starting to get impatient…

"I've always… wanted to go… Take me to the festival today, un…" Deidara pointed at Sasori…

"What about Deidara he's sick…" Sasori shook his head.

"Perfect! He can stay in bed!" Deidara-Chan smiled wickedly…

'Perfect?' Sasori's eyebrow twitched. He sighed… "Fine I'll leave him a note…"

"Yes!" Deidara-Chan cheered.

Deidara-Chan waited patiently while Sasori left a note on Deidara's sleeping forehead.

The note read:

Dear Deidara

We've gone to the festival without you cause your sick. Focus on getting well. Leave my puppet scrolls alone…

PS: don't leave the room cause that greeter dude could be around out there…

When Deidara finally came to and read the note he whimpered. Soon enough though his cold over came him and he fell asleep again…

Authors note: Try not to hate me but Its going to take a while to update the next chapter something like 15 days… so try not to send death threats… I wont be pleased and may even extend the time it will take for the deadline to like… 18 days… or I might actually work at it and update sooner...


	3. Chapter 3: Sasori's a homo

Authors note: I know I said how long it would take but… I have discontinued the story for now

Chapter 3: Sasori is a Homo

"3!" Deidara-Chan pranced, as prancing is the only way it could be described, around Sasori.

"Stop that…" Sasori spoke as stiffly as he walked.

The similarities between Deidara and Deidara-Chan were disturbing…of course Deidara never hearted because he found it made him look even more like a girl.

"Stop what, h'm?" Deidara-Chan said grabbing on to Sasori's arm.

Sasori sighed…" I know you're a girl Deidara-Chan but could you imagine for a second how Deidara would feel if people saw him grabbing onto a guys arm, prancing about… They'd think he was gay…"

Deidara hugged on tighter "Who cares what he feels, un! You don't mind people knowing your gay right Sasori sempai?"

Sasori lifted Deidara-Chan of the ground… "What was that?" A horrified look entered Sasori's eyes.

"… So you do mind people knowing your gay, un?" Deidara-Chan held on to his arm her toes brushing the dirt.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Sasori roared at her shaking in fury.

A crowd started to gather staring…

She finally let go of his arm and landed lightly "You were gay the last time I checked!" She pointed at him.

"WHAT?!" he was going to say something else but his mind was not processing "WHAT?!"

"I guess in my world your gay…" Deidara-Chan crouched counting out on her fingers… "It all added up… Your into designing clothes here to-!"

Sasori dragged her into the nearest alleyway. A stunned crowd coughed in the wake of there dust…

Clasping his hand against her mouth Sasori whispered threateningly… "How do you know about my god damn hobby?!" He let her go.

"Gasp … well… err…" Deidara-Chan started " I'm wearing your hobby…" She gestured at her clothes and Sasori's eyes widened.

"I see…" Sasori mumbled.

"I guess this really is a different dimension then, h'm?" Deidara-Chan chuckled nervously.

Sasori was not listening " I have a cute Kimono that would fit you perfectly!"

"Err okay!" Deidara-Chan smiled mischievously as she always did have a giant crush on Sasori… and now that he wasn't gay… 'Heheheh' she thought even more mischievously…

**Meanwhile in Sasori's room!**

Deidara was thrashing around in the mist of a nightmare the note from Sasori still on his forehead. He saw himself in a wedding dress turned away out towards the sea… 'Sasori...' he called. Just then Sasori appeared happily to answer 'Deidara!' Deidara turned around and showed he was 8 months pregnant! Sasori and Deidara embraced in a passionate kiss. 'AaaaaH… Sasori…' Deidara moaned between his gasps. 'Mmmmm… Deidara…' Sasori managed to moan between his kisses. There closed dissolved and suddenly Sasori was pregnant too! And had bunny ears… Deidara woke screaming! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"(It went on for longer than this but… to save time I'm sure you understand).

Eventually Deidara ran out of air and collapsed into unconsciousness mumbling.

'I don't wanna be pregnant, un!' 'Help me I'm in a fanfiction with Mpreg…' '…Don't wanna…' ' The rabbits… there trying to get me pregnant, h'm…'

**Meanwhile at the festival**

"How do I look, un?" Deidara-Chan blushed happily at Sasori's attention… She did a turn in her sky blue with sunflowers kimono… a pink hair clip made her stand out as more girly still and drew eyes towards her skinny waist which was wrapped with pink…

"I love you…" Sasori spoke with thinking…

Deidara-Chan's eyes lit up "Oh, Sasori sempai! You don't know how long I've waited to hear that!" Deidara-Chan's blush spread more across her cheeks "Take me now!" Deidara-Chan leapt towards him arms open sparkles flying through her hair…

By the time her hug had reached were Sasori was, he was somewhere else getting out a lot more clothes… 'Sasori… I thought… loved me… un…' Deidara cried towards the heavens miserably. Sasori was not paying attention as he was contemplating a nice gothic red dress fully equipped with frilly red umbrella and red lacy neck choker. Deidara-Chan fell miserably to her knees tears still spilling down her face.

"This one is next!" Sasori smiled down at her, not even noticing her tears of misery and despair…

'I can't even get with him when he's not gay…' She thought as she took the red gothic dress behind the curtain… ' I bet it's my lack of boobs' Deidara-Chan thought miserably, totally missing the point of Sasori's obsession with clothes, examining her dress, 'It looks so bad its like someone stole all my figure using some evil… demon slug related jutsu…'

**Else where**

Far away Tsunade quickly pounced and finished off another female victim… leaving the poor woman with a lack of any noticeable signs of cleavage! 'Nooooo!' the woman cried as she looked at her clothes that no longer fit! 'Hahahaha!' Tsunade laughed evilly making her busty getaway by bouncing over the rooftops by falling on her chest.

(Note from the author: Would explain Tsunade… but did not actually happen at least in this fanfiction…)

Back to Deidara-Chan

Deidara-Chan sighed and held her umbrella over her arm… Sasori gushed over her and how cute she was… Deidara-Chan happily accepted his praise and thought maybe her figure wasn't that bad… Then Sasori showed her all the other clothes he wanted her to wear…Deidara-Chan felt her self being engulfed by twelve years worth of fashion expertise that was all to ready to consume her…

**Later that night in Sasori's room**

Deidara had finally woken to find the note on his forehead… He was not pleased…

"WHAT?!" Deidara roared breaking the door open to Sasori's room with a single, non-sick at all, jump kick " Sasori's going to get me pregnant, un!" With a look in both directions Deidara ran towards the exit of the building screaming at the top of his lungs "NO ONE GETS ME PREGNANT!"

As he reached the outside of the building… He stopped gasping as he saw Sasori carrying a snoozing Deidara-Chan…

"You bastard, un!" Deidara swung a fist at Sasori's face; a crunch sound escapes Deidara's hand… "Aaaaaghhh!" Deidara groaned as Sasori's head tilted slightly and his cheek indented with Deidara's fist against it. Deidara took his fist away dropping to the ground in agony "Your heads… is so… hard, h'm!"

"Why is everyone surprised my head is hard? I'M A FREAKING PUPPET!" Sasori yelled at Deidara.

Deidara-Chan snuggled up to Sasori's neck. Sasori's went flushed.

"What the & do you think your doing, un!" Deidara forgetting his injury points at Sasori accusingly.

Sasori was struck by an evil thought… " I'm not doing anything…" He leans down close to Deidara-Chan, almost kissing… "She's the one doing it… Heheheh…" He tries to kiss her but decides against it as she is drooling slightly.

Deidara-Chan wakes up slowly. 'H'm?'

"Give her to me!" Deidara shouts at Sasori compressing his own head with his fists.

"Nah… I don't want to… I think I'll keep her for a while…" Sasori teased "What are you her brother or something?" He gently put her down in front of Deidara.

"Yes! I am her Nii-san!" Deidara pulled the sleepy Deidara-Chan away from Sasori "Did he impregnate you?" He asked her as she kneeled on the ground.

She yawned and stretched in her black shirt, tiny water droplets at the corner of her eyes made her too cute for Deidara's comfort…

"Wha-?"

Deidara slammed his fist onto her head.

"Don't look that cute…" Deidara's eyes shadowed in fury and a vein bulged… " Someone's going to swing in and get you pregnant!"

"But I don't want to get pregnant…" Deidara-Chan grew more teary-eyed " I wanted to consolidate my career as a criminal before I have children…"

"Answer the first question… are you pregnant!" Deidara was working himself into a fit "Did he touch you inappropriately Ohmoto-Chan?!"

"I think he's gay…" Deidara-Chan cocked her head to the side confused at something important she was trying to remember, something Sasori once said about this subject... " I think he told me that today, un…"

Sasori pulled his hair "I'm not gay!"

Deidara whispered to her " They just say that to get close to you… Then bam!" He slams his hand into the other " Five months later your seven kids in the hole and he's left you, h'm…"

'I can hear you!' Sasori bristled in the background 'and that doesn't make any sense, pregnancy takes nine months!' Deidara's reply was severe 'You would know, h'm…'

"He lied to me, un…" Deidara-Chan lip quivered.

'That doesn't make any sense!' Sasori growled back at Deidara then tried to console Deidara-Chan " That's not what happened!"

"Deidara-Nii-san!" Deidara-Chan ran to him " Protect me from the perverts of the world!"

"I will do my best Ohmoto-Chan…" Deidara and Deidara-Chan hugged all teary-eyed looking exactly like twins…

"I'm going to work on my 'puppets' Deidara-Chan… so if you grow tired of being silly… look for me…" With this Sasori left eyeing the 'siblings' embrace with disgust…

"You've always taking care of me Deidara-Nii-san…"

"I always have and will…"

When Sasori got to his room he found he was unable to work on his puppets fashion due to a small door problem he had to fix… namely it being broken in two… 'God damn it… ' He cursed…

Author note: (you may skip this if you want…)

Extra chapter: I can't believe how unpopular my Fanfiction is

Selath sat at desk sobbing waterless sobs into his paper.

"What's wrong Selath…" Deidara Sasori and Deidara-Chan came up to him.

"My fanfiction is unpopular… " Selath clasps his head in despair…and falls to his knees the Japanese word for despair spelt above him in a dark infectious ominous cloud.

"Err… It's probably your writing, un…" Deidara-Chan attempted to make him feel better…

"Yeah… your writings pretty pathetic, h'm…" Deidara nodded.

… Selath felt each word stab through his chest… and started sinking half way into the floor now labelled misery…

"Hey… its not pathetic…" Sasori shook his head angrily… Selath's eyes watered with joy as he rose from 'misery'… " It's mediocre… completely normal without any discernable Good or bad qualities…" He resumed his sinking as he was rained on by despair…

" But I know the real reason why the fanfiction isn't doing well, un!" Deidara grinned evilly…

"Really?" Selath rose with new determination in his eyes "I'll fix it! I'll do anything to have my personal favourite of my fanfictions so far to become loved by the Naruto community the world over!"

Deidara nodded chuckling wickedly his eyes gleaming from the darkness he points at Deidara-Chan "It's her… she's an OC…"

Selath gasps, "Why didn't you tell me! Oh my god I've been played the fool…" He turns to her his face pained "How long have you been an OC? How long have you been lying to me?"

"I-I didn't know!" Deidara-Chan whines, " I swear I didn't, h'm…"

"I must fix this" Selath looks even more pained as he pulls out a Deathnote… "I have to kill you off… I'm sorry…"

"I understand, h'm…" Deidara-Chan bows her head.

"Stop that!" Sasori wrestles the Deathnote away from Selath "She's not an OC she is the female Deidara the male fans have been dreaming of!"

And so Sasori convinces me (by hiding my Deathnote!) to allow Deidara-Chan to live… If only for the next chapter…

(A message from Deidara-Chan: Please send reviews… I'm not an OC I swear! I want to live!)


End file.
